Help! I work with a Narcissist

Narcissist In The Workplace?

He did it again, he thinks that he is superior! She is so entitled and selfish! Have you ever thought or said this about someone at work or even your boss. It could be that you work with or for a Narcissist.  

In order to know for sure let me define what some narcissist personality traits are. A Narcissist is a person who has an excessive interest or admiration in themselves. They often lack empathy and have an exaggerated sense of self-importance. They operate from a perspective of superiority and they believe that is okay to be overbearing, bullying and takers.

The accumulation of things is evidence of control to a Narcissist, and that control; whether it is material, or a relationship – is important. Their mindset is: “control equals power.” They love to take control in their relationships. However, their aim is not necessarily to make the other person weak, the aim is to maintain their dominant position.

Unfortunately, a Narcissist will often view those who do not have control as weak and not worthy of respect. Therefore, when working with or having interactions with others, the ideas and contributions of ‘weaker folks” are not acknowledged.

Working with someone of this caliber is a killer to morale and can destroy a company culture faster than you can strike a match. Trying to match intensity with a Narcissist will be futile and cause more harm than good. However, you don’t have to become passive, be assertive and set boundaries. Your best approach is to always be your best and highest self. Lead by example and show them that there is a better way.

Show them how to give (serve) and invite them to experience the satisfaction that comes from giving and serving others. Let them see you use persistence positively (not bullying) for the benefit of the team. Show them how to be assertive and not overly aggressive. Most importantly, show them that they need to take responsibility for their actions. Modeling this behavior can help them to realize that their true wealth lies within their character. Sometimes we have to be the change that we want to see in others before they can change.

A few other tips…

• Spend time with people who give you an honest reflection of who you are.In order to maintain perspective and avoid buying into the narcissist’s distortions, it’s important to spend time with people who know you as you really are and validate your thoughts and feelings. Helpguide.org (Source)
  
  
• Maintain a positive outlook.
  If you are dealing with narcissists who derive pleasure from watching others suffer, then seeing the pain they cause will only egg them on to more aggressive counter-behavior. Don’t look ruffled, even if you’re feeling annoyed, and eventually that behavior will diminish in frequency. Susan Krauss Whitbourne, Ph.D. (Source)

• In data from 37,000 college students, narcissistic personality traits rose just as fast as obesity from the 1980s to the present, with the shift especially pronounced for women. The rise in narcissism is accelerating, with scores rising faster in the 2000s than in previous decades. The Narcissism Epidemic: Living in the Age of Entitlement (Source)

Blog by Allen Forbes
Author, Speaker and Team Building Guru
info@AFspeaks.com